Poole The Lighthouse, Poole (I presume)

Last time we were here it was my 40th but on this outing it's Matt's. Also his Dad's who'd come down from Swansea with Claire is wife. 

Build up was largely done with a half the cast and crew on a account of Haze not putting fuel in the mini bus he was driving. By all accounts he had to walk to a petrol station to get fuel. 

Little was said on their arrival but I did wonder if this had still been the case if it was our van that had run out of fuel through the same circumstances. 

DEFINTELY NOT!!!

Never the less the show was build up in more or less the same time as if they'd been here from the off. 

I met up with the clan Angelow in the furthest pub away from the theatre. Fucking seemed like it anyway. Which wasn't a bad thing as en route I passed a card shop which spurred me to buy Matt a card and a couple of bits. Namely a wind proof lighter for all the times he does t smoke (Claire Angelow) and a small bright as fuck mag lite. 

I got about hundred yards away then realised it was also Chris, his dad's birthday too whom I've known since I was 14 and even played in a several bands with over the years. As I recall, this would have been the first time I've bought him a card. If not, the last time was in 1990. 

I'm a great friend. 

In the words of David Brent, "El Vino did flow" Well Desperados beer at least. 

Back at the theatre it was meeting held as usual. Capt Dan made a point of bringing up the van running out of fuel debacle which did make a certain Dr Haze somewhat uncomfortable, naturally!

It was a pretty well sold show and it went without incident. Though as we were a little pissed, don't think we played to our usual standard which had been set so far on this tour. Chris and Claire thought it was good so perhaps I'm being a little critical. Still it was Matt's birthday so fuck it. 

That was Poole. 

Crawley The Hawth!

Its been a few days since the first gig and we are already a week in. Normally I would miss posting a few days then would rack my brains as to what happened on those missed days. But now, I'm just gonna skip it and fast forward to tonight's show. I simply cannot think of what happened on those shows other than the basics. But rest assure they all went like this:

Woke at travelodge, drive to theatre, build up, had something to eat, chilled out, had the meeting to discuss changes in the show or mistakes on the last one, ROCKED THE FUCK OUTTA THE PLACE, pull down, travel to travelodge and then bed. 

We did a have day off after the third show and it was also my birthday. What did we all do in celebration? FUCK ALL!!! 

What a thoughtful and caring bunch they are. Da and Matt even bought me a Zimmer frame, because that's really funny because it's a joke about me getting old. It IS funny, isn't it? 

They also got me chocolate cake, which made up for the poor quality joke. 

Thanks guys! 

An old fat bloke eating chocolate cake. Sorta, well a lot, like me! 

So Crawley today then. Or as Haze called it, "creepy" Crawley. 

I was only here in October with The Osmonds, not quite the same show, but the get in and build up was as fast. 

I did plan to have a mosey on around the town or the area but weather being as wank as it was, I only braved the outside to find a Tesco and stock up on cereal for the morning and a bunch of things for dinner. 

That amounted to a shit load of rabbit food and chicken. With some fruit and nuts. 

(Fucking riveting read this init?) 

After the meeting Clayton and I tried to make sense of the spare desk. In the case that there would be a problem with the main one, plugging this one in and getting to go would be impossible without setting it up prior. And knowing how these things tend to happen, it wouldn't be in the day or soundcheck, but the show meaning a lightening fast turn around is absolutely paramount. 

Anyway, we are slighty closer to achieving this. The thing we are stuck on is loading a scene from the main desk into the secondary desk so they have exactly the same show. But oddly, the secondary isn't recognising the the saved scenes on the memory stick. 

Why is this an issue, surely it's a case of swapping the connections and turning the power on right? Well, here's the main desk we use. 

And here's the spare

See what I mean?

Anyway, it's a work in progress and something I intend fully to have nailed very soon. I plan to call the manufacturer on Monday and get some sense. 

The show went well, I personality played a good one as did the band. 

Pull down and a short drive to the travelodge and it was vodka o'clock. 

Brighton, some theatre of some sort, first show back after Christmas and New Year.

Happy Fucking New Year Ya Bastards! 

Yep, just over 3 weeks have passed since the last show in the Lyric, Christmas and New Years came and went largely uneventful thanks to the shite weather. If not for that I'd probably have made more of an effort to go out and you know, do that thing people do at Christmas? Have fun, yeah that!! 

I did have a blast over the new year though to be honest. Not only did I make the monstrous track up north to see Alan and Michaela (two folk I had played in a band with for a whole in 2010) get married but spent nye at my old mate Dan Ashby where I played drums a bit, saw in new year and got royally wasted playing Halo and Grand Theft Auto until 6:00 am. That's how I roll! 

So with all that done, it was time to get back to work and the tour. 

To limit the fuck about with getting the Angelow's, myself and all our shit up to the gig and not having to cart my car about for a few days at my own expense, I decided that if would be better to hire a van one way. So that's what I did! 

We had to leave Swansea at 6:00 as I planned to meet Andy Higgins to sell him a Mac I had lying around. He was off on a ship and so this was the only window. 

The Angelow's were okay with it thankfully. 

As soon as we left Swansea, their arses started to erupt like mount fucking Ettna. 

Da went to sleep pretty fast. Not sure it was due to being tired or the pungent gasses that were emitting from either of their arses. But he was out like a baby. 

Da, after leaving Swansea and all the shitting commenced. Sort of. 

After a few hours, meeting Andy and exchanging the mac for a "Gregory" he he puts it, it was off to Bright-on. 

We got there a little early but I fucked about with getting somewhere to park up the van so we can offload all our shit. 

I got told off by the guy who owed a shop next the the stage door. I only put an empty can of relentless on his pile of rubbish and he came storming out of his shop of bollocks to explain to me that this was HIS PILE of rubbish for recycling and I should take the empty can into the theatre and use THEIR bin. 

What a cunt! I mean, what a thing to have a grizzle at! I really felt like opening up a can of welsh abuse on his most probably lonely, no friends, bitter fucking arse. 

But instead I bottled it and just did as he asked. He's still a cunt though. 

That shop keeper at his Christmas party, most probably. 

After all the hellos and happy New Years etc it was back to building the show as if the break didn't happen. 

And it didn't, before we used to get it down to 2 hours. After 3.5 we were still building. But as we had a meeting and rehearsal at 4:00, it didn't give me much chance, or any at all to get some lunch after building. So I didn't. I plowed through it all the way to sound check. 

The reasons for the rehearsal is there's some personnel changes from last year. Namely no Sergei and one Mambulu less. But in his stead we have a chap that's loaned to us from Gerry Cottle's Circus. An ENGLISH aerialist by the name of Mikey. Why make a point of saying he's English? Well because in all the years of working with Circus 99% are non English. Russian, Chinese, African tend to be the mainstays. 

Probably because they work for fuck all and only require a place to live and a visa, I don't know. 

Anyway, Mikey is very good. But we needed to rehearse him into the show. 

After about an hour or so it was soundcheck time. No hassles with feedback and monitors not working though Da's was cracking. 

A certain amount of not giving a fuck about that was held on my behalf. I did actually look for the replacement but as they'd all been put back on the tuck I told him to just suck it up and shut his cunt. 

Actually, I just asked him to turn it down a little. He did and we got through the show okay. 

The band payed fine! A felt a certain fire in my own playing which had not been there prior to Christmas. I can't say why but I wasn't questioning it. 

Tabitha, who stood in for the injured Kirsty last year, made a visit and hung about for most of the rehearsal. She also came to the show. I'd loved to have spent some time with her hut I generally was on the go from the minute I arrived so I didn't manage. Hopefully I will next week. 

Er, I think I've covered the Brighton show adequately so I'll end this entry here. More to follow. Oh a lot more to follow. 

As long as I give a shit enough to keep this bloc up. I mean, who actually reads this shit anyway? I ask ya!!!!

Lyric theatre, London. (Sang like Europe) "It's the final Lyriiiic"

It's fucking typical that the final show before Christmas would start as a stress fest for me. 

The predicament I had was having to collect the drums, after pull down and traipsing my way to Wimbeldon and back in time so that they're not left on the pavement in the rain for me. As it was the last one, as soon as it could be achieved, everyone was going to be scuttling off across London in separate directions after pull down. I was never going to be able to set the drums down, get my car and back before this. I didn't manage last time but it wasn't so bad as I had Matt and Da looking after the drums on the side of the street until I arrived. Not today! I had to devise a new plan. 

This consised of parking the car a lot closer to the theatre but still outside the congestion zone. As parking inside that inner sanctum is upto and over £35 for a day!! Fucking London and its ripoff culture. 

Soon to come:

Actually entering the congestion by foot - £2 per person

Talking in public - £5 per day upto 5 people - £1 per every extra one thereafter. 

Breathing that lovely London air - £3.50 per person per day. 

Prices are subject to change without prior notice you fucking mugs. 

Maybe. 

Anyway, a mate of mine suggested an industrial park just outside because "it's free all day and you won't get booked or clamped" Not according to the fucking signs mate! This was after I had got there. I drove around for ages and ages trying to find exactly where "free all day and you won't get clamped or booked" was. After lots of swearing, I eventually struck a deal with a guy who assured me I'd be okay to park outside his unit for the day. I assured him it would only be for today. He seemed cool and I walked away hoping I'd come back to it later and it won't have been impounded. 

The 1.5 mile walk to the nearest tube followed and the the journey to Piccadilly Circus. The Piccadilly Circus of horrors. 

When I arrived I was an hour and a half late, but 30 minutes in time for the build up. No one questioned me, in particular Haze. He did enquire about my parking arrangement which I explained my hassle. No more was said. 

And so it was down to build up, in the pissing rain. What a way to go out on. I took enough pa stuff in as to get starting with routing power and got on with it. We were done in just over two hours which was nice! 

The posse Angelow (chris, Claire, Suzanne, Rhian) were up for this show as it was Suzanne birthday and they'd figure a trip up the smog to see a west end show, a great way to see in her 40th. I spent mine in Gendros, I wished I'd thought a little bit bigger on times. 

The show went really well, probably the best I think the band sounded and played. Though I did lose the top of my stool, between the Birmingham show and this one, which wasn't so good. I sneaked behind into the thriller set to borrow one of the stools that band use hoping no one would notice. THEY DID! And I expect that Haze will get a letter/email of complaint soon who will then come to me about it. 

The pull down was fast, though we all got soaked, and we got out of the theatre in the nick of time. One minute over and the show would be charged £300 for extra staff hours. Even though that extra staff generally don't do a fucking thing to help. They just stand/sit around occasionally saying we can't do something or other. Again, fucking rip off London!!! 

I decided to leave the drums in the lorry and collect them on the way home from Southampton the following afternoon. I was going there to visit Dee who was in on the Arcadia for the day and would be travelling via Swindon home that night. By luck, the truck is stored there all over Christmas. 

And that's pretty much how it all went down mother fuckers. 

Hope you enjoyed reading this tour blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

See you all in January for London After Midnight tour part 2....

Anyone?

Birmingham Start city in the Moscow State Circus big top

Having got up and bummed a fag off one of the travelodge staff, we were on our way. 

After an hour or so we were there. It looked the same size tent as Gerry Cottle's but once in there, oh my it was pretty apparent it was on a different scale. 

We used their band stand instead of ours. It's well constructed and went together pretty easy but after a glance, it was gonna be a right royal pain in the arse area getting the keys and drums up to the platform and then setting them up. And then to have to strip it all and bring down afterwards. But with a little three man organisation, it was achieved. But it was still a royal king size pain in the arse. 

It also wabbled like fuck too when I was playing. Also worsened by professors rocking back and forth! 

Again I didn't get a lunch break! I did manage to grab me a Subway when I had a minute. 

Meanwhile, somewhere else, the rest of the band were enjoying oriental buffet and a spot of 10 pin blowing for dinner. 

Moscow State Circus (Of Horrors) 
Behind the TVs is where you'd find me and professor come show time. 

Forward of the ringside. You may not get a feel for the size by mark my words, it's fucking BIG!!!

After the meeting and sound check, I tried to find a pub. I didn't but this was after wandering around with my phone out-stretched, following googlemaps. That's the second time in a week it's sent me somewhere that didnt exist. So I came back and got stuck into my vodka with a couple of diet cokes I got from a mcdonalds. 

Our dressing room was a tent, most of us were packed in there getting ready, myself with my bottle of diet coke (with an amount of vodka in it) until show time. 

Again, another well sold show. The figures estimate over 800 so we were looking forward to ripping it up tent stylee. 

Parking Patawayo got me again! And Stephanie Randelle got nailed too. And by which I mean, she got a ticket. Not what you were thinking!!!

HUBBA HUBBA!!!

Like I thought, packing the kit was a bastard. I figured it would be quicker to throw stuff off the top on to the bed prop to save time. 

It did too! 

Unfortunately not everything could have followed that path. Prof's keys were way to heavy for someone to catch on the rebound. Plus I don't think the keys themselves would have survived even the mattress from that hight. 

Packed down and still pissed off (about another ticket) it was off to London to drop off Prof and then make our merry way to Croydon for the last time before Christmas in lieu of the last Lyric show, and show in general for 2013. 

I was so fucked by the time I got to oxford that I simply had to just pull into a services to get 40 wanks. 

I mean winks!!!

After what I thought was 5 - 10 minutes of nap time, I started up the car and headed off. After looking at the clock it was revealed that I'd stopped for over an hour. 

What a difference it made, I drove away feeling absolutely fine. Helped along by a Starbucks professor so very kindly bought me as a thank you for taking him home. 

As he would say all too often but without the hint of sarcasm, 

"YOU'RE WELCOME!"

Bristol temple quay (in Gerry Cottle's circus tent)

Tonight's show will mark as my debut into a circus tent. 

Oh, wait.. I forgot about Waken 2010 with this show. 

Scrap what I was about to say. 

Today marks the second time I'll be playing in a tent. 

Hang on, we did 2 shows in Waken. 

Fuck, okay. 

Tonight's show is a break from the norm of theatres and town halls etc, we are in a Circus tent. The circus of horrors in a circus tent, who'd have thought? 

Well the people that booked us, that's who! It was an addition as the original toe dates didn't have this one on the schedule. Then it was discussed a week ago and then I thought, "hang on, what what what?!?" I only took a gig in at home a month ago didn't it. So I had to quickly tell that band I was unavailable and hopefully they'd not be too pissed. 

We got here at 10:15 am. But wasn't able to begin setting up until after 12:00 because of some Tv, and I don't mean transvestite, stuff that was going on with Gerey Cottle's circus in the morning. Suffice as to say, I was thinking of the couple of more hours in bed I could have had. Still, at least we were all here to start when we could have. 

Being in a tent proves a lot of challenges to do a show which has been plotted out for theatres stages. A rearrangement of the band was the biggest one, pa positioning and monitors another. I guess there were many others but not being directly involved in that I cannot comment. I know we had to rehearse the bringing on and taking off of props from different directions from theatre stages, so I suppose as far as the show was concerned, that was a the biggest of things to be concerned about. As for me, I plays the drums and set the pa up (albeit with a bit of head scratching) and I was done. 

Us in Gerry Cottle's tent. 

I spent most of the build up in a puddle. The drum riser was placed in a dip where a fuck load of water had collected over the few nights. After a while I felt like this:

A bit like me. But without the holding of the dick and pissing bit. 

Time was not on my side and so I didn't get out for lunch before meeting. But that was okay, somedays it's like that so there's no point moaning about it. 

Like I said, the meeting was held (an hour earlier) to discuss the rearrangement of show stuff. 

After an hour it was soundcheck time. And I was quite shocked how reverberant  a tent is. It's almost as much as some of these town halls we play with stone walls and such. All fx was muted to try and clean up vocals. But nothing I did made it so, it sounded like a massive spring reverb was inserted into the master mix. 

Not giving that much of a fuck, I just went with it. 

Prior to the show, the band and I went for a beer in a bar/cabin type thing which had seemingly been erected for Gerry's circus starting a few days later. I might be wrong, but I did have a feel of being thrown up fasto! The band were in full costume and normally this would raise eyebrows but not today as the bar was occupied by other such like dressed individuals coming to see the show. I presume anyway, perhaps they were just normal folk dressed as they would on any other day. 

The show was well sold and the atmosphere was pretty electric. Show went well and I came away having enjoyed playing in a tent looking forward to the short drive into Wales..... And then back again to get to Severn View services travelodge which was situated on the westbound carriage way. 

Fucking google maps doesn't route the service bridge does it? It wasn't I saw the tolls that I realised what was happening. 

I got Da to text someone in the minibus to warn of my error and to not make the same one themselves. Thus saving Haze £12 or something. 

I'm all heart me. 

Lyric show 7

After a mental weekend of gigs that took me to Bognor Regis, Minehead and Treboeth (an area of Swansea) via LLANELLI!!!.... It was time to cart mine and the Angelow's hairy and smelly arses back up the smog. I've seen more of the m4 than a hitchhiker with a particular craving for jellied eels... Whatever that means. Basically, I've seen A LOT of it and today was gonna be more of the same. 

7:30 was when I arrived at casa de Angelow and Matt was up and ready to leave bang on time. I had a tight schedule to meet the truck at Heston services to off load all our shit so there was no margin for fucking about. 

DA was gonna travel up by train as he had a prior engagement. 

The little shit only sent a text later on in the journey saying he'd blagged himself a first class seat. So it was champagne and caviar for him while Matt and I slummed it in my car up the M4 with Gingsters sarnies and cans of Relentless carrying HIS shit... And ours too of course! Hope you joke on your complimantaries there DA!

DA in first class, yesterday. 

We met with the truck with no time to spare. I couldn't have planned it better if I was Hanibal Smith. 

Hanibal Smith, he loves it he does! I mean, when a plan comes together. 

With Costell in my car also, we negated our way to Wimbeldon to park the car outside Haze's and tube it to Shaftesbury  avenue. 

En route it was revealed to us that where our gear was placed in the back of the truck caused MAJOR FUCKING PROBLEMS (OH MY) to getting out the fake wheel clamps.

Tough shit! There was nowhere else to put it so fucking deal with it!

Sergei, having seen a shit load of band gear near the door automatically thought that there'd been a tumble in transit. 

Just thought I'd mention it. Suppose that's not really that funny is it? You'd have to have been there!

Build up was done in super fast time and I would have been in the lyric pub just outside stage door if I'd been for the fact I'd had left my PSU for my 2box brain at home.

The 2box drumit five brain that for whatever reason runs on AC and not DC power!

A frantic rush to find and electrical store where they'd stock an AC adaptor was conducted. 

Maplin, you savior for plights such as this. But why do you insist on employing nerds and fans of Dr Who/Dungeons and Dragons/World Of Warcraft? The like who's only female sexual experiences is limited to left-handed-websites. 

This was the first hit on a "Maplin's employee" search in Google, no shit!! 

EXTERMINATE!!!

I bet the RS components catalogue gives these geeks semis. 

Oooh.... You SLUT!!!

Anyway, thank you! 

*Nerdy sound alert spoiler*

I did have a contingency plan already formulated in the event that an AC PSU wasn't found before soundcheck. That was to use channel 1 for kick, 2 for snare and the over heads as normal but instead of rolling them off at 300 hz and panning them 9 and 3 o'clock, roll off at 75hz and dip the high shelve at about 6khz to a gradual 3db per octave, depending on how that sounded of course. The idea being to pick more tom toms than cymbals. I've mic'd a kit like this once before and it worked fine. 

But I didn't need to, I found an AC PSU. I also didn't need to bore you with all that fucking bollocks too did I?

Not just that. It turns out that one of my Ddrum triggers, which have been systematically failing, was unusable unless repaired. So out came the soldering iron and my temper. 

As you can probably see, both primary and secondary transducers had broken. The boast about rugged housing and professional connections but the core element is as upto the task as a bolsa wood rollercoaster ride. 

A stern email was sent during the meeting. It wasn't polite!!!

Thankfully with the stress of the PSU and the fucked trigger, soundcheck was easy. 

A quick pint in the lyric and it was show time. My mate Pete (who I gig in the blur tribute band with sometimes) came to the show. I got him in 2 minutes before curtain up. I could have changed into my gig clothes faster if they were a onesie!!!

Show went well, I played pretty sloppy on times, aaaargh, pull down!

Long ass drive back to Wales. I didn't get in until 5:00 where I looked and felt like this.