The 3rd attempt of the second entry.

Ah pissing bloody fuck!!!

Why am so angry? Well, like I said in the first post, I would try and update this daily or to near as damn it! And I've tried, lord knows I have. This is in fact the third time I've tried (as the about to be mentioned reasons might actually screw up this attempt too) having spent a good few hours composing both previous attempts. So what happened?  Well, iOS happened! Or more specifically, BlogPress, an app for iPad. I got to the end, having proofed and checked the whole entry, felt happy it was worthy of a post, went to save and publish and BOOM!

No iPad didn't blow up, nor for that matter did anything else other than my inner thought process. The app crashed losing ALL of what I had done.

So I dusted myself off after a day or so and tried again. This time I was in a train to London (to be explained) and needed to kill a few hours, this seemed like a perfect thing to do.

I got as far as London, my stop was coming up, I had written a lengthy and dare I say it, FUNNY AS FUCK entry, went to save and BOOM!! No, nothing blew up but the same thing happened again.

I've decided to try and compose it on the web instead of using the app. Fuck you BlogPress and all the (probably) spotty fucking nerds that are responsible for it coming into being. This is an app I've actually paid for too, none of this free shit! 

Right, rant over.

I'll have to be brief with this as a lot has happened since the first entry and I don't wanna bore people. Well, anymore than they are by reading this anyway.

Rehearsed up in Wookey hole, it was time for show nomero uno. We were all pretty nervous as although we had rehearsed for 4 days, it was hard trying to remember all the bits. Not just that, but how to make them flow into each other seamlessly. Haze assured up that if the show went well he'd buy us all a drink after. That was incentive enough for the Angelows, Professor and I. It was also a sold out show with people standing around the balconies to get a view. The atmosphere was electric and it certainly helped.

Needless to say we all played pretty well, there were a few little niggles. From me more than anyone, in fact to this day (5 days later) of writing I'm still finding myself mid show thinking, "oh fuck, what the hell happens next!?"

The pint was well enjoyed by all. I even got chatting to some of the people that had come see it. One set of (shall we call them) "fans" had come all the way from Motherwell just for the show, which was crazy to think about. I did say, "dudes, we are going to Scotland at some point, you could have just come to see us then!"

The second and third shows in Wookey hole the next day went about as good, the crowd was quieter for the first show even though it was about as well sold. The third was better received (if my memory serves me correctly) with a smaller numbers. Quality vs quantity it may seem.

Then it was the dreaded pull down...

The first of a tour is always the hardest as we haven't formulated an order for load in. This time was no exception. We are also carrying more stuff. After 2.5 hours the doors on the lorry were closed with all the stuff coming right to the doors. That's the first time I've seen it that full.

And like the many nights of rehearsals and the first show, a piss up was held in honour of the tour start back in the dorms afterwards. There's even blooming romances! Always good for a tour gossip...

"He's shagging who?  NO WAY!!" Type of thing. 

Next morning was a bit painful though, up early and a long drive back to Wales to drop my car off and then head up to London via train to get into the west end for the first time.

It would have been shorter if I hadn't had selected "no" for "do you wish to include toll roads" all because I was using a different sat Nav to the one I have and my one asks, "do you want to avoid toll roads"

I didn't realise this until I got to Gloucester, even though I passed a sign for "WALES LEFT, ENGLAND RIGHT!" Nope, on a drive for another 50 miles.

ASSHOLE!!

This was also the day that the news was thronged with reports of the end of the world is nigh. Not really, that wouldn't have got as much coverage. A storm of some kind was coming!

Storm Thurgeson, legendary album art designer who passed away this year. 

No, not that kind of Storm. 

Fucking media, had me all shitted up!  Okay there was a storm and it created some damage, but Jesus the hype! I know we need to be warned, but fuck was there need to be so heavy about it? I even wrote my final will and testament out in case I didn't make it back!!!

It went like this:

The few grand I have saved - give to mam and dad.
Drums - sell them and give the money to mam and dad.

That took me hours!

So rain-sodden and finally in Croydon where the show were staying that night! I went to sleep after a solitary cider to myself.

I was briefly awoken by Vitali, the contortionist when he came in around 4:30 I presume after he and the band went out on the piss, and went back to sleep.

My alarm awoke me at 7:30 but Vitali wasn't having any of it. I actually thought he'd died. He didn't move no matter what the fuck I did. He was warm though and breathing so I knew he wasn't dead, just dead to the world.

Thankfully the Angelows had a great idea and proceeded to empty a bottle of water over his face and then shortly after, the rest of him, needless to say, THAT WORKED!

Public transport all to fuck, we had to make our way to Shaftesbury avenue via bus and a tube. Which took a lot longer than expected because of the extra burden of passengers with disruptions everywhere. There was even a felled tree where we parked the van, so it was pretty windy! Unless it was just tired?  

We arrived there an hour later than planned so it wasn't that bad, but Haze wasn't happy at all. This was a big day for us. 

We are sharing the theatre (and for the most part, the set) with Thriller, the musical. It's a smallish theatre and their set is great. But it did pose a lot of problems for us getting in. A long day of trying to arrange things around them, power having to be re routed after it was set, it was sound check time. This was well later than planned, that will teach me to have something to eat... How dare I!

Sound check done, it was time for show. Started up, NO MONITORS FOR THE WHOLE BAND!!! Relying on DA's cues was impossible with no monitors and also that I couldn't even see him to the band as they were set up on a walk way above me.

I was panicking a bit... A lot. A fucking lot!!

A few bars in, on they came! But they went out (for me at least) before the end of the first half.

I checked in the interval and they were working again, I frantically tried to figure out what it was but to no avail. But as they were working again, I hoped they would for the rest of the show. They did, but I wasn't hearing any drums through them. It really didn't set me off well and I personally didn't enjoy the show.

Bugger!!! An almost sold out debut in west end an all. Should have been amazing for me. Oh well, lessons were learned  (don't eat when everything isn't done) but even that said, when you're a slave to the gear and it fails, what could you do?

I set the drums down super fast and headed back to Clapham common to retrieve the minibuses. Long story, basically, no where to park them in Central London in the day.

The journey made more fun with Mongy, who pretty much talked about his misses all the way there. Which was fun.

Got back to the theater and they were having issues getting the ramp in the lorry. Told ya it was full didn't I?

DA and Juma jumped in, fucked about with stuff and a few inches were made. It was just enough to shut the doors.

Off to Nottingham we went to say that night. I shared the driving with Haze in out mini bus. I took over about 1.5 in and was struggling to stay awake myself. I was slapping myself in the face, making tense faces like I'm desperately trying to push out a huge turd. I even listened to Radio 4 who and paid attention to a program about a play write of years gone past, who's name escapes me so it must have been AWESOME, in the vain attempt to fight tiredness. 

I got to 10 miles away from our destination when the second mini bus (who was tracking us) was pulled by the cops. The reason? There was a flashing orange light (a bit like what you see on tow trucks) left on. Apparently the driver, a moody fucker by the name of Mario, knew this and wanted it left on. Why the mini bus has a light on the top at all is anyone's guess. But why he felt it needed to be left on is an enigma beyond that again. No fine was issued thankfully, even though he felt it was necessary to argue his point to the police. 

This guy is a hoot! 

Next day we travelled to Leeds. A very small theatre, perhaps the smallest the circus has ever played in by the name if Varieties Music Hall. The hall itself isn't that small, but the stage and wing space is even smaller than Whitby pavilion, the smallest one we've appeared in until now.

It's so small that the drums and keys have to go into the orchestra pit. Though I don't know what kind of orchestra would fit into this one. A 10 piece Smurf orchestra would all be crawling over each other in it. 

"This smurfing orchestra smurf if too smurfing small mother smurfers! Hey check out the smurfs on that smurfette on the front row!" Sorta thing! 

Still drums and keys were in it. Just in front of that was a walk way which a lot of the show and acts will be performing. One such worry from the get go was the water tank. Not only worried about being soaked (a given) but the fact that water might not only fuck up Professor's keys, but maybe even kill him in the process with a nice jab of 240 volts. Also, if it fell off into the walk way with Sergei init, the combined weight would not only destroy my rather expensive kit bit most probably maim me badly. 

The solution to Professors predicament? Plastic dust sheets from Wilkisons. As a result, he has to play sections of the show under a sheet, which he wasn't happy with as it make him difficult to play. Naturally.

The first show went well, no major car crashes (musically speaking) and the band is really starting to come together now. That said, I still find myself mid show thing, "oh fuck, what comes next AAARGH!"

To which DA normally comes to the rescue on the cue mic with, "death music you dumb twat!"

Or words to that effect. 

More to follow...

Rehearsals - Day 1 (excluding actual day 1, so it's more like day 2... but let's just call it day 1 okay?)

Hello everyone... anyone? Welcome to the first of what will hopefully be many entries for this years' tour blog. As a fresh start, I have decided to have a completely new page without any of the other ones I wrote years ago tagging on at the bottom. Feel free to comment. And please, don't take it too seriously, it's just a bit of banter and some fun. I certainly do not set out to offend anyone so please excuse me if I do. So shall we begin?

So, after 6 years of touring on and off with this show doing sound, I find myself back on the kit... And still doing sound (how the fuck did that happen?) but I'll come to that shortly.

It stemmed back to last tour when Haze (the gaffer, for want of a better expression) asked me if I was interested in coming back for this tour. The brief chat was assumed to be regarding to sound again, like the several tours previous. But he surprised me when he said, "what about drums?" Still, being the fuckwitt I am, I still didn't catch on. So I replied, "What about them?" When it did sink in, the convo was left at, "let's have a chat before the tour ends and we'll discuss it further" we didn't.

I heard through the grapevine that Sean, the previous drummer, took a panto back in the summer so I knew he wasn't going to return. So shortly after that my email inbox chimed that sound we all love so much, and this time it wasn't for a penis extension or a Russian bride.

"StevooooOOOOO! Would you like to do the tour? Sean appears to have taken a Panto so I can offer you drums. Or if you prefer sound, then that's cool too. I'd like you back whatever!"

Over the next few months negotiations swayed back and forth, his people talked to my people, we did lunch, we had meetings, el-Vino did flow and came to arrangement that suited both parties. So back on drums I am!

A welcome return band-wise is that of DA Angelow on guitar. Not happy with just the one Angelow in the band, we've picked up his brother Matt on bass. Professor is still keeping his piano stool warm from the last few years on keys. Another addition (we are undecided it's to the band or not yet) is that of Zoe on vocals. Professor found her via an Internet campaign for "someone stupi... I mean, ambitious enough to squeeze into a bottle, dress up in kit, get covered in blood, sing a bit, on stage... WANTED!"




DA having just plugged in his guitar and to his surprise, doesn't sound like arse.

Fast forward past the recording of Hellrasier at DA's Pitch Black Studios, the initial rehearsals in
Swansea, to today day 2 in Wookey Hole. Day one was basically unloading and setting up the band stand, unloading the pa and generally saying "sup bitches" to those we'd not seen in 7 months since the end of the last tour.

So day one commenced at 10:00. I hate mornings, I'd like them better if they started later.




the stage, with a few bits set up. A kick drum no less, still so far away from being a drum kit that a douche like me could play




Wookey hole theatre with no fucker in it... Init?

So let's talk about how I'm not just on drums, but I am in part, responsible for sound too.

The deal I came to with Haze is that I'd double on sound (as it's a two man job) for an extra few quid per week. On the last tour, the bassist was this person. It entailed the running of cables, lifting of cabs and just being on hand if I needed help doing something sound related.

Now I am that guy. But as the new sound engineer has only worked with analogue desks and the desk on this tour being a digital (one I'm very familiar with having used it while touring with The Osmonds recently) it was basically just natural that I'd step up to the plate. This was a major help as it's a completely new rig so getting it up and running as fast as it can is imperative so that rehearsing can take place.

But to make things easier for him, I've got the iPad controlling the desk so I can sit on the drums and make changes to monitor mixes without having to shout up to the sound man to turn X down in Z monitor, so to speak. Now, they can turn to me and say, "turn X down in Z monitor" leaving the Soundman to concentrate on front of house. So... I've taken the tour on drums and I'm still being fucking hassled about monitors mixes. Jesus!

Ah, who am I kidding, I fucking love it.

The personnel for this tour is almost the same as the last, minus 3 1/4 of the band and one hairy fucker from Mexico. God Bless you Jesus Aceves, where ever your hairy ass my be.

Most of the day was spent setting up the whole PA, plugging up instruments, microphones, making a shit load of XLR to mono jack cables (for drum triggers) and ironing out other aspects of pa related shit.

Oh, and setting up a drum kit. As I am the drummer.

DA and Matt arrived at 3:30 and missed all the fun.

After sound checking Hellraiser, tweaking monitors, we were off.

We ran the first few tunes with actual acts doing their actual act, realised that we have no clue and so a lot more work music-wise is required. And stopped at 8:30 for the night.

One of the decisions I've made drum-wise is to trigger drum sample from acoustic drums instead of the usual mic-mixer arrangement of the past tours.




Ddrum DRT triggers

The Benefits.

(that THAT kind of benefits)

Drums take two channels on a desk (4 with two cymbal mics) instead of 8 or 9.
I can have the biggest sounding drums even when the actual drums don't even sound as good a kipper being smacked across the face of a fat kid eating a pizza.... On a Thursday.
A kit can be changed to suit the song. For example, a rock ballad can have a huge kick and snare with loads of reverb on toms. A faster, more funkier song can have tight kick and snappy snare with dry toms with just a dial up.

Cons.

(not THAT kind of cons!)

What you play is not necessarily what you hear. Setting up trigger dynamics can be royal pain in the arse. Settings (per drum) like trigger type, gain, threshold, cross-talk and velocity curve can have you starring at the module for hours on end wondering "WTF?!" Much like how most pensioners stare at the average remote control or microwave oven.

And ever after painstakingly setting this up to optimum, it will never track everything what you okay exactly.

So why bother. Because I learned a long time ago that what you actually play is secondary to how you sound.


It's also has something to do with not having enough channels for a full kit.


So why not just use electronic drum pads (as they can be set to track a lot better then triggering from drums)?

Because most people don't think electric pads look cool and my kit wouldn't looking more sexier if it has tits and a minge.

More to follow tomorrow.